22556: Racine: Haitian Rape Joke #2 (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: Racine125@aol.com

This story comes from the Artibonite:

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There once was a man who got to be thirty four years old and hadn't yet had sex.  He got frustrated.  And one day he decided, "Good, I am going to go screw."

He cut himself a big baton of orange wood, and went out onto the road.  The first person he met was a young girl coming from the market.  He blocked her way.

"Bonjour, Mesye", said the girl.

"I left my 'bonjour' at home!  How many teeth do you have in your head?"

"What?"

"Don't play stupid with me!  How many teeth do you have in your head, girl?"

"Mercy! I believe I have thirty-two, Mesye."

"Thirty two blows of the baton or thirty two blows of my penis, which do you prefer?"

The girl started to cry.

"I don't have time for that!  Answer me quick, thirty two blows of the baton or thirty two blows of my penis, which do you prefer?"

"I prefer... I prefer... well, I prefer thirty two blows of your penis!"

(Here the audience laughs uproariously.)

The man went zoop!  ZOOP!  ZOOP!  And when he finished giving the girl thirty two blows of his penis, she got up and arranged her clothing, and said, "Thank you very much, Mesye."

The man went on his way.  The next person he met was an old, old lady with white hair.

"Bonjour, my child," said the old woman.

"I left my 'bonjour' at my house", said the man.  "Gran, how many teeth do you have in your head?"

"How many teeth?"

"Look, Gran, I don't have all day, how many teeth do you have in your head?"

"Let me see... I pulled eight, and then I lost four in an accident, and just the other day I pulled three more, plus the two in front that rotted, that leaves... fifteen.  Fifteen teeth I have in my head, my child."

"Fifteen blows of the baton, or fifteen blows of my penis, which do you prefer?"

"Blows of the baton?  Blows of the penis?  Look here, young man, I am old!  I am not involved in those things any more!  I..."

"Gran, I am not going to talk with you all day!  Fifteen blows of the baton, or fifteen blows of my penis, which do you prefer?"  And he brandished his baton most menacingly.

"Since you put it that way, my child... I resign myself to fifteen blows of the penis."

The man went zoop!  ZOOP!  ZOOP!

But the old woman hadn't had sex in a long time, and she found it very sweet!  Soon she said to the young man, "My child, you remember those teeth I told you I lost?  Well, day before yesterday I found that they were... they were... they were GROWING BACK!"

(More uproarious laughter from the audience.)

"Look, Gran, I'm not her to 'plase' (move in) with you," said the man.  And when he was done, Gran got up and fixed her clothes, and she said, "Thank you so much!  Thank you so much, my child."

And the man went on his way...

(The story continues with many further incidents, each involving the rape of a woman who "likes it" and ends up wanting more, and who finally thanks her rapist.)

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Peace and love,

Bon Mambo Racine Sans Bout Sa Te La Daginen

"Se bon ki ra" - Good is rare
     Haitian Proverb

The VODOU Page - http://members.aol.com/racine125/index.html

(Posting from Jacmel, Haiti)